1. |
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The world is full of fools,
everyone simply a rusty tool
who might prove a use
or just prove they're useless
but either way they're still just a bunch of nuisances.
With John being the one exception.
He's a healthy dose of medicine-
he's just what the doctor ordered.
Doctor who? Doctor of the order
of how people can be such snots,
but that doesn't even matter now,
all that matters is that I was BORED,
and now I'm- not.
God he's a breath of fresh air.
I'm off my cigarettes and I barely care
because every day and every night
it's Watson on my mind
and, hopefully soon, in my bed.
Err, baseball, baseball, baseball!
Try to think about that instead.
But lord his sweaters and his hedgehogness,
I'd just love to wrap myself around his hips-
does he ever notice it
when I lick my lips-
god knows all of it's just for his benefit.
John. Look at me John!
Look at me solve this case!
Adler may be the Woman,
but you are most certainly the Man-
and I'm glad I never had her
because it means it will mean more when we finally...kiss, and- stuff.
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2. |
John's Blue Balls
02:19
|
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|
Hands off Sherlock, Adler.
John's been cock-blocked once too often.
It's a problem.
He needs some some-some.
Poor old fellow,
Sherlock's just a bit dense
when it comes to sexual tension.
He could use a lesson or two.
Chorus:
Because here's the thing:
though neither of them wears a ring,
they're meant to be together.
And I mean forever.
So keep your mindgames to yourself,
and we'll drink to your health.
But take one step out of line
and bitch your ass is mine.
Chorus
Oh John, hang in there, buddy.
I've been running a bath for you two
and the water's getting sudsy.
Don't worry, you've got no need for jealousy-
pretty soon Adler will only be a memory.
Which reminds me, until then:
Hands off Sherlock, Adler.
John's been cock-blocked once too often.
It's a problem.
He needs some some-some.
Chorus
So keep your mindgames to yourself,
and we'll drink to your health.
But take one step out of line
and bitch your ass is mine.
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3. |
Johnlock
03:46
|
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|
Have you seen the way John looks at him?
He's got a body that's made to sin.
And the way that Sherlock always turns to John-
like he's always so turned on.
But mutual attraction just doesn't cut it sometimes.-
when neither parties can admit to it.
They're on the road from friends to lovers
but they keep toeing the line.
Jump in guys!
The water's fine.
Just, please, kiss!
We've all been waiting so long for this.
Everybody! Sing!
It might be a Tinkerbell kind of thing,
and if we sing hard enough then they have to do as we wish:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
And it's such a shame that men don't have ovaries.
Can you even imagine the adorableness of their babies?
They'd be the perfect combination of hedgehog and feline,
with daddy #1's cheekbones and daddy #2's social skills
and all of the cuteness all of the time.
Have you seen the way John looks at him?
He's got a body that's made to sin.
And the way that Sherlock always turns to John-
like he's always so turned on.
But mutual attraction just doesn't cut it sometimes.-
when neither parties can admit to it.
They're on the road from friends to lovers
but they keep toeing the line.
Jump in guys!
The water's fine.
Just, please, kiss!
We've all been waiting so long for this.
Everybody! Sing!
It might be a Tinkerbell kind of thing,
and if we sing hard enough then they have to do as we wish:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Is he leaning in...?
The rapture! The joy!
Oh for god's sake, kiss the boy!
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4. |
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Sherlock didn't even notice that I was gone for an hour-
how can he not understand the power he has over me?
Am I just invisible? Dismissible?
Or simply insecure and difficult and far too affected by his proximity.
How can I make him understand
he holds my heart within his hand,
and he could crush it in an instant-
or fill it up with joy.
But he is ever distant,
and I fear he'll treat it like a toy.
John doesn't realize that when he's in the room
I have to force my eyes not to shine
and give myself away.
God he could mold me like clay.
But I can't risk falling,
and I know that I'm just stalling our relationship as friends-
but I need him in my life
and if he rejected me then that would be the end.
How can I make him understand
he holds my heart within his hand,
and he could crush it in a moment-
or fill it up with joy.
But he's had all those girlfriends
and I fear he's just not that kind of boy.
(John)
I get butterflies when he walks by,
but it's all I can do not to cling to his side.
(Sherlock)
My pulses starts racing, my irises dilating-
whenever he smiles.
(Both:)
How can I make him understand
he holds my heart within his hand,
and he could crush it in a moment-
or fill it up with ecstasy.
But I'm just too afraid to tell him how I feel...
so I just don't.
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5. |
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I'm the king of crime.
The world's first consulting criminal, and so on.
You know you're the only worthy adversary I've ever found-
but sonny I'm the king of crime,
and honey you should see me in a crown.
But this is fun, you and me-
hey what a laugh.
As long as you stay out of my way
I'll let it pass.
I'll be the sheriff of Nottingham to your Robbin hood.
You be the Peter Pan to my Captain Hook.
Every good fairytale needs a villain,
and every good hero needs a sidekick that they're willing
to risk it all for-
to take that fall for.
But now you're in my way.
I thought you were more than ordinary,
but you've disappointed me.
I thought we were more alike than not.
But you're not such a hotshot anymore, are you,
with guns in position to take out the people you'd be missing.
I'm the king of crime.
The world's first consulting criminal, and so on.
You know you're the only worthy adversary I've ever found-
but sonny I'm the king of crime,
and honey you should see me in a crown.
Oh no no no, Sherlock, you've gone and let me down.
See, there's something important that I've found:
staying alive is so...boring.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just – staying.
Every good fairytale needs a villain,
and every good hero needs a sidekick that they're willing
to risk it all for-
to take that fall for...
but who would fall for me?
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6. |
Sherlocked
04:13
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|
I was so alone and I owe you so much.
You've driven me crazy
with your callousness and brevity,
(and cheekbones, collar, coat and mind)
yet in your own way you've been kind.
The Soldier and the Virgin,
what a pair we are.
You're so smart in so many ways,
but can you deduce what's in my heart?
We work the cases.
Your mind amazes.
The facts that you've got store up there-
the way you sometimes deign to share your brilliancy with me.
I was so alone and I owe you so much.
The Soldier and the Virgin,
what a pair we are.
You're so smart in so many ways,
but can you deduce what's in my heart?
We've saved each other's lives.
We've laughed a million times.
I trust you like I've trusted no one else.
I was so alone and I owe you so much.
The Soldier and the Virgin-
let people talk.
You're so smart in so many ways,
but can you see my heart is Sherlocked?
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