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Ballad of a housewife's neuroses

from These things that sleep beneath the skin by thelastclarissa

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lyrics

I know i've said a lot of things
and I know i'll say a fuckton more,
but I guarantee I won't mean
any of them.

You've got to understand
I don't know what I'm doing,
forgive me when I fuck up but I'm a shoe in
for most confused person in the room.

I try to tell you how much you mean,
but I end up saying stupid things
like I love you
and I'll never ever leave.

But I've got doubts,
they're like a swarm of bees,
and I try to outrun them but they always find me
so eventually I just ran to your arms.

And eventually I'll hurt you,
and eventually could be today.
Our relationship was doomed the first time I said your name.

And eventually you'll look at me
and say “Why would you ever?”
and I won't be able to explain.
Because I have no idea how I've tethered myself
to the pain I can cause you
when I tell you I love you and don't.

I know i've said a lot of things
and I know i'll say a fuckton more,
but I guarantee I won't mean
any of them.

You've got to understand
I don't know what I'm doing,
forgive me when I fuck up but I'm a shoe in
for most confused person in the room.

I try to tell you how much you mean
but it's like pulling teeth.
I just can't do it to myself
so I end up saying stupid things
like I love you and I'll never ever leave.

But eventually I will.
Or eventually I'll beg you to.
And eventually you'll look at me
and say “How could you ever?”
and I won't be able to explain.
Because I have no idea why I've tethered myself
to the pain I can cause you
when I tell you I love you and don't.

And you deserve better,
and you deserve better,
and you deserve better than me
and my mess of insecurities.

credits

from These things that sleep beneath the skin, released August 4, 2013

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